


Hermione's Hideaway

by MagdaTheMagpie



Series: Hermione's Hideaway [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Co-workers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fake Dating, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-06-14 09:33:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15385884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagdaTheMagpie/pseuds/MagdaTheMagpie
Summary: Each chapter is a new drabble or short fic for the Hermione's Haven facebook group challenges, which will all be centered around Hermione. Notes at the beginning of each chapter will give you the summary and pairing.





	1. The Rule of Three

**Author's Note:**

> For the July 2018 Roll-a-Drabble, I rolled:  
> Pairing: Neville/Hermione/Blaise  
> Trope: Fake Dating.
> 
> Summary: What to do when you are someone's beard and get asked out by your fake boyfriend's crush?

 

Hermione was having “A Bad Day”. But a promise was a promise. Besides, Blaise always invited her to the most expensive places to eat. It wasn't even to show off how full his Gringotts vault was. No, he just wanted to makes sure the right people got to ogle his beard, and as many of them as possible.

She sometimes wondered about the wisdom of having accepted to be the man's fake girlfriend. She hadn't even known him that well at the time, and it's not like it was such a big deal to be gay nowadays, even less so in the wizarding world. But she had been promised a hot meal, good conversation and Blaise had these puppy-dog eyes that no Slytherin should be allowed to possess. 

At least she'd made a new friend, and how strange was that?

“You don't look well tonight, sweetheart. What's wrong?”

“Neville asked me out.”

Blaise frowned. 

“The Snake Slayer?”

“You guys seriously call him that?”

“Are you kidding? We're all terrified of the bloke. It's sexy as hell.”

Hermione snorted and choked on her wine. Blaise handed her a napkin and patted her hand.

“I guess he is,” she admitted although she'd always had trouble not seeing him as the chubby boy who always forgot the common room password, his homework, his toad, his way to the classroom… “But it's a moot point since  _ we _ are dating, and I told him so.”

“And what did sex-on-legs say?”

“He said you were as gay as a unicorn and that he was going to prove it.”

Blaise’s eyebrows crawled steadily higher as she spoke.

“And how is he going to do that?”

“I have no earthly idea, but don't underestimate a Gryffindor on the warpath.”

“Oh, I'd never do such a foolish thing. Counterproductive to the whole cunning shtick we've got going. Besides, he's not wrong.”

Hermione laughed, but stopped abruptly upon hearing his next words.

“Not entirely right either, however. That might be a problem.”

“What do you mean?”

“Men, women… it's all same to me.”

Hermione snatched her hand back, belatedly realising Blaise had even fondling it for the last ten minutes. She'd let her guard down because he was supposed to be her  _ gay _ friend.

“But… I'm your beard.”

“And quite a nice one too. One I'd like to keep.”

“But…”

“Oh, come on, Hermione,” he purred. “You wouldn't have given me the time of day before this whole set-up. Now we're friends, good friends. Hopefully more very soon.”

“You… you're such a Slytherin!”

“Why, thank you. Does that mean I'm forgiven?”

“No,” she said and crossed her arms over her chest, smirking when she noticed an approaching figure. It was not their waiter, more like an oncoming storm. “Prepare for your punishment.”

Blaise’s eyes widened a fraction as he followed her line of sight. He didn't even have time to brace himself when he was yanked out of his chair by a fuming Neville. Blaise was right. The knight in shining armour was definitely a good look on him.

What she hadn't expected was for Neville to kiss Blaise smack on the lips in front of the entire restaurant. It was quite a show, and Blaise was not putting up much of a fight. In fact, once the shock had passed, he was the one in control and mauling poor Neville. Hermione bit her bottom lip as she stared at the two very different men kissing so fiercely. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't a bit turned on, and knew the heat in her cheeks had nothing to do with the wine.

Finally, they parted and she could breathe again. Blaise dropped back in his chair, his eyes unfocused. 

“See?” Neville panted. “Gay. He's using you.”

“Bisexual, actually.”

“W- what?”

Hermione conjured a chair for Neville to sit down with them, then a privacy charm because they'd made enough of a scene for tonight already. The wait staff shot her a grateful look and carried on as if such scandals were a daily occurence. 

“Blaise is bisexual. He likes both men  _ and _ women.”

“Oh,” Neville said, confusion evident before he turned bright red. “Oh!”

“But we were pretending to date. Doubly so for Blaise.”

“Were?” Neville asked hopefully.

“Yes, Hermione. That past tense has me quite titillated too.”

Neville glared at him, but gave up when Blaise only winked back.

“I don't know!” she huffed. “You just confused the hell out of me. You, Blaise, with your underhanded seduction, and you, Neville, for just asking me out of the blue.”

“It's just taken me this long to gather up my courage to ask you out,” Neville confessed.

Hermione blinked at him.

“You stood up to Voldemort,” she deadpanned.

She couldn't possibly be scarier than the darkest wizard to have walked the Earth.

“You slew his Snake with a mythical sword,” Blaise added with a hint of awe.

He was such a fangirl. Maybe she should leave and let those two get better acquainted. 

“Yes, well…” Neville shrugged, blushing under both their attention.

_ He's so precious, _ Blaise mouthed at her across the table.

_ I know _ , she replied, forgetting she was supposed to be mad at him.

She worried her bottom lip again, unsure where to go from here, then threw caution to the wind. For once in her life, she was going to follow her instinct and not care about the consequences. 

_ That  _ might be the wine talking.

“Besides, the two of you…” she paused to clear her throat. “That kiss… it was hot.”

She glanced around, just to make sure no one else had heard, or that a bolt of lighting wasn't going to strike her down.

Neville looked away, but Blaise smirked at her knowingly, the prick.

“It's fine, sweetheart. I sure enjoyed it, and I can assure you Neville did too.”

“I did not!” Neville protested.

“Boners don't lie, Slayer,” Blaise singsonged. “I say the three of us have dinner together like civilised people and get to know each other better.”

“You mean like a date?” Neville squeaked, but he wasn't leaving.

Hermione doubted the idea had even crossed his mind. She laughed. This was going to be the best date ever. 

 


	2. Coffee Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione/Dudley  
> Rating: G
> 
> New job, new beginning, until someone from the past appears to ruin it all.

 

Hermione stared at the parchment in her hands with a wide grin. She gave the Ministry owl a treat then schooled her features into a more appropriate expression.   
Finally, after years of working as a subaltern in many Ministry departments that would only allow a muggleborn to rise so far, she was given the post as muggle liaison secretary she had been lusting after for so long.   
Unfortunately, her being granted that post meant its former occupant had died -of old age, thank Merlin- but it still made her feel something of a carrion crow for being so happy about it.

Hermione hadn't realized how used she was to wearing witch's robes until she had to stuff herself into a muggle suit, which was very sleek and black and tight, but she had to admit it did make her feel like a badass and she was going to need all the confidence she could get. Loaded up with coffee, her wand waxed within an inch of its life, she was ready to take on whatever was thrown at her.   
Which was… boredom, apparently. She had a small office within the muggle Ministry with the mysterious initials MLO on the door and two junior agents at her beck and call. She had met one high-ranking official who was in the know of the Wizarding World but who looked for all the world like he'd rather not know and told her to deal with everything through his assistant, not even bothering to give him his name, just to expect him by two. Until that time, one other person had wandered in looking for IT and another for accounting. No need to say, Hermione was thinking of renaming the office to something less mysterious.   
Fifteen minutes before her meeting was due, her nerves got the better of her so she went to the floor's break room for some coffee, not that it would help said nerves, but it would give her something to occupy her hands and mind while she waited. A fidget cup, you might call it.   
Of course she would embarrass herself on her first day there by dropping the teacup - empty, thank Merlin- but it shattered on the corner of the counter and sharp pieces of porcelain flew everywhere.   
“Here, let me help you,” the man standing in line behind her offered.   
Hermione nodded and mumbled her thanks but didn't dare look up, her cheeks a flaming red of embarrassment she was sure. When everything was cleaned up, she finally stood, smoothing her suit back into some semblance of professionalism and smiled at her helper.   
“Thank you again. I must be more nervous than I realized.”   
“That's quite alright,” he chuckled.” You're new here? I don't think I've ever seen you around before.”  
Hermione blinked up at the blond man, wondering if he was being honestly curious or using such a cliché pick-up line on purpose.   
“First day,” she admitted, giving up on coffee entirely since her meeting was due any minute now.   
“It's nice to have you here. I'm Dudley, Dudley Dursley.”  
Hermione ignored the proffered hand, too busy staring in incredulity and horror at the man who had bullied her best friend all through childhood.   
“This is usually the moment you give me your name,” he chuckled nervously.   
“Hermione Granger,” she answered without warmth, without intonation or hand shaking.   
Dudley, the cousin from hell, had never met her, but he must have heard her name through Harry or on the rare occasions she sent him letters through muggle post or tried to call him on the phone, because his brow wrinkled in thought.   
“Have we met before?” he asked, finally dropping his hand.   
“No, but you know my best friend, Harry.”  
“Oh.”  
Oh. Because what else was there to say, really? Harry had never managed to mend the bridges with his only blood relatives and had simply drifted away into the Wizarding World where he was actually loved and appreciated.   
“Oh no,” he added.   
“What now?”   
“I think you must be the new head of MLO I'm due to meet with in,” he checked his watch. “Two minutes?”  
And so it was, the most awkward working relationship she'd had to deal with, and she'd had to work with Draco bloody Malfoy at some point, so that was saying a lot. But they worked well together, she had to admit, dealing with the crises and exchanging information with both efficiency and rapidity. When Hermione had told Harry about it, he couldn't believe Dudley held such an important post when he'd been such a mediocre kid on all levels, but he appeared genuinely happy for him.   
That made her curious, and if Harry didn't hold a grudge against his cousin after all these years, why should she? He was a nice enough bloke, smart and funny. Surprisingly good looking too, given everyone who had ever described him had always compared him to a pig in a wig.   
So she let herself laugh at his witticisms instead of biting down on her amusement, she gave him advice even when he didn't ask for it, and accepted his help when he offered it. Their work only improved from it, as did their working relationship. The muggle and Wizarding worlds had never been this tight knit before, and gone was the awkwardness between them.   
“How about some coffee?” Dudley asked when they closed a particularly sensitive case. “I'll make it. They've cut down the budget on broken cups again.”  
“Oï, that only happened once!” she objected with mock vehemence. “But gladly, if there's still decaf.”  
Dudley really did prepare her own cup and they toasted to another job well done.   
“You know, I'm glad it's you, despite you not liking me. Working with that old geezer before was tedious and we rarely got anything done. I actually feel useful now.”  
“I don't… dislike you, exactly,” Hermione said carefully, staring into her steaming coffee. “I was… prejudiced against you, I suppose, which wasn't fair, I now realize. People change. I should have given you a chance.”  
“You are now. That's more than I'd hoped for. I really thought you were going to curse me those first few days. I kept checking I didn't grow a pig tail.”  
“You know that's illegal,” she laughed off, wincing internally. “But I have to ask: why choose to work as a Wizarding liaison after… everything?”  
The owl invasion, the giant, the pigtail, the cursed candy, his blown up aunt, the dementor attack and his parents hatred of magic in general.   
Dudley gave her a shy look but didn't look away.   
“Because of Harry. I thought maybe one day I'd get to see him again working this position, or at least hear about him, but then I realized I could also do some good, create good relations between the two worlds. I guess it's my way of making up for my errors.”  
Hermione almost teared up upon hearing this, confirming her opinion that Dudley was a good man.   
“Would you like to accompany me for dinner this weekend?” she asked.   
“You mean, as in a date?” he asked, cheeks turning pink.   
Hermione froze. She actually meant as in taking him to visit his cousin at the Weasley Weekly Lunch at the Burrow that Sunday, but she might as well get something out of her meddling. She held her breath as she nodded slowly, then released it when he agreed.   
She never regretted her meddling though, nor letting go of old grudges.

 


End file.
